hunter
Force Sensitive
Posts: 23
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Post by hunter on Jul 7, 2006 3:07:43 GMT -5
Name: Duncan Starseaker (called the Hunter for his bounty hunting skills)
Alliance:Rouge Jedi
Species: Black Panther
Age: 20
Sex: Male
Assignment/location: To kill the Sith that slaughtered his tribe.
Birth Place: Ferregia
Parents: (killed when he was young) Father=====>Jason Starseaker Mother=====>Sky Starseaker
Education: Jedi training
Marital Status: Single
Background: Duncan grew up in the panther tribe of Ferregia, his father was the chief. When he was 6 a army led by a Sith master slaughtered his people. He soon was taken under the wing of a Jedi master, named Marrion Cammira. He got his blue light saber and mastered it quickly, at the age of 16 he left to become a bounty hunter to find the sith that led the army, and got his green light saber. He has a light saber that is green and has a 3' handle and a 6' long blade with a strange crystal and a 5' blue light saber. He can remember how he learned the force but cannot remember his master.He refuses to get close to anyone until he kills the sith that killed his tribe. Once he finds the sith he wants to start a famaly and stop hunting and put his past behind him.
Quote:"I never loose a prey once I catch a scent."
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Post by Binary the Great on Jul 7, 2006 5:07:56 GMT -5
Okay, shall we start with avoiding the cliches? "Unknown" in a character biography is a poor thing to include. Obviously, if SOMEONE knows or knew that information at one point; it should be in the biography. These are not like NRI/ISB files; they're information outside of the universe.
Alright, it seems to me like our character has fallen victim to some traumatic head injury during his life. Not a problem, normaly, but it can be a cop-out with writing a biography. As said above, the history is there; put it down for the people (not the characters) to see.
I have trouble believing that the character has concious use of force ability without knowledge of he came by it. Using the Force takes more than just pissy moods or happy thoughts; it takes dedication, training, and applicative knowledge. It would be more believable if it were a hidden talent or something similar; perhaps you mean to say he could have learned, forgotten, but finds certain abilities manifest at 'just the right time' on occasion (though, not very reliably).
I'm thinking I shouldn't cut too many holes, or there'd be nothing left to patch up. Let's see where you go from here...
Oh, and before you ask: yes, it is my job to tear apart biographies for inconsistancies and such. It helps in the long run by working out little hiccups and issues that would otherwise be unseemingly painful to encounter.
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hunter
Force Sensitive
Posts: 23
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Post by hunter on Jul 8, 2006 3:39:23 GMT -5
OK I agree "unknown" is cliche but I made him in a pinch so I will modify his history when i get more ideas for his history, and yes the force happens at random and very ineffectively and inaccurately.
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Steedo
Padawan
Salvage Captain
Posts: 202
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Post by Steedo on Jul 10, 2006 20:50:46 GMT -5
*Holds up a black trenchcoat* Here is one right here!
Seriously Hunter. You are not in a pinch here. Take all the time to think about your character, where they came from, how they grew up, what they know, what they think they know, how they feel about the universe... The things that express your chracter's real personality. We reall don't need to know what thier lightsaber looks like or what clothes they wear. What we want to know is the their personality.'
Revenge motives are very limited... Okay, so why would anyone want to play a character that you are trying to hunt down and kill? What would you do with your character after they have found their revenge?
What made them choose Bounty Hunter as a profession? Why can't he remember his past? Why does he weild a lightsaber with such skill, when he can't remember his lessons or who taught them?
How is he looking for his memories? Does he have any leads, or is he just bumbling around the cosmos waiting to bump into something that rings his bell?
Where did he get an X-Wing? What problems might he have because of it?
Is it all black as an attempt to hide his ship from natural eyes? (ships sensors pick him up effortlessly) Is it a sign of his vainity to match his fur or is he insecure patterned to inspire fear?
These are the details we care about. I mean he can change clothes or replace his lightsaber without too much explanation, but it takes a much bigger change to affect personality.
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hunter
Force Sensitive
Posts: 23
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Post by hunter on Sept 6, 2006 3:13:29 GMT -5
I have fixed him, and he no longer has amnisia.
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